Disclaimer: The answers given in this column are based solely on the opinions and expertise of the assigned writer (Mistress Daytona) and in no way, shape, or form represent the entirety of the kink as well as D/s, Femdom, and other alternative communities. The bias of the writer is from a femme, Domme, POC, able-bodied, cis-gender experience in the Bay Area, California. Any questions, comments, or concerns can be addressed or answered if you shoot an email to mistress@leatheretc.com.
Dominance Training │ 04.04.2023
Q: How did what you learned at the somatica institute help you in your dominatrix career? How has working at an adult novelty store help you in your dominatrix career?
- Felicity
A: Hello Felicity! I should preface that a majority of pro-Dommes (as well as other forms of sex workers) in the industry would agree that the role is 1/3 sex work, 1/3 business, and 1/3 therapy. Being in Somatica Institute has been helpful in giving me a framework to operate from to better connect with my clients and offer more in the session that allows the work for me to be around processing and healing trauma that lives in the body. It's interesting because many SWs have certifications similar to this such as being certified therapists and psychologists to holding degrees in social work or even tantra. I knew that going into pro-domming meant that I was going to be in a people role where-in I would be in a really intense place with my clients and I wanted the skillset to better create a container for safety, authenticity, and possibly healing.
Working at an adult store is a gift because it allows me to engage in work that I'm passionate about which is education. There have been a number of times wherein I have had the opportunity to help give the proper resources to those who are starting out in their kink journey to those with misconceptions around kink, intimacy and relationships, and even fashion (we are a fetish fashion shop as well). Being able to connect with people teaches me more about what people are looking for, what confuses people, and where I can be the most helpful. I feel good helping people and if whatever I can offer from advice, things for things to think about, or marketing the proper resource such as an event or class, I feel like I'm able to serve my purpose.
- Mistress Daytona
Dominance-submission │ 04.02.2023
Q: I am consistently asked by submissives to dominate them but I lean more towards being a bottom than being in Dominance and submission. I have, however, always been curious about this role. How can I explore D/s without committing to a title?
- PrimalBottom
A: Hi Primal, there's no need to jump to any identification. D/s is a very specific corner of kink that has its own jargon, rituals, and even community, but it doesn't mean you can explore and it doesn't mean you need to commit to an identification. Kink is a tool of expression that is best practiced when you are empowered to express yourself in a safe and authentic way. My biggest recommendation is to talk to Dominant and submissives to learn more about why they may identify towards a specifc side of the "slash" (D/s or M/s), what they've learned in their own journies, and what they're still working on. Kink, like any form of expression is a journey, not a destination. As for these subs approaching you, I'd suggest vetting them to understand what their actual intentions are. As much as kink can be fun or sexy or intimate, it is best had when it is built on trust, communication, and consent.
- Mistress Daytona
